This blog has been floating belly up for quite some time. Maybe the whole year has. Not in every aspect. But, I trodded into my usual traps. And once I lost my forward motion and momentum it seems everything spiralled out of control.

First of all, I made my Ep-project too precious and ambitious. And when the music that came out of my monitors failed to live up to my vision I lost heart. Instead of making some modest nice, clean productions with a few tracks. I piled takes upon takes desperately to make something grand. Til…it feels I could just as well start the whole song over and finish it in one night.

My singing didn’t work either. I self-consciously realized that it sounded like someone trying to sound good, rather than a good singer.

At the same time, in the last few weeks I’ve had fun producing some silly theme-music for some commercials (to be used internally within a company). It was all tongue-in-cheek and I did “infringement-safe” remakes of Kraftwerk’s We are the robots (using a Monotron!) and that Rocky-song Eye of the tiger. As well as a ping-pong song from sampling ping-pong balls.

The lesson for me is that I had a lot of fun, I was fast and could deliver a good product – since nothing was that precious to me. There was no prestige. There was no grand vision to match, everything was good enough – or rather great in its own way.

If I could work on my own music this way, there would just be wins. I would have more fun, be in a better mood to the benefit of my family, I would finish more music and more songs would be written – while I would be getting better at it.

So, no more precious. I fear I’ll end up as Gollum if I keep fooling myself this way.